I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
