Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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