she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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