Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
