I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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