im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
