Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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