He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize