look no pants
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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