You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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