You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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