"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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