I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
as a side note pls kill me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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