I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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