you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
