Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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