no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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