we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
