Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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