My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize