Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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