operation harelip BJ is a go
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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