You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
