NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
