I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
