I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
