This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
