Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
NoShamevember. You game?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
