so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
