I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
