god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
