So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize