she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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