I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
