YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
