I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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