As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
they call him Oral-B. enough said
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Help. Why am I so naked?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
