My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
