You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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