Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
