Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
