is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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