Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
