And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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