She's JV to your varsity
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think your dad took our porno
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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