My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
