I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
