i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
