One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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