I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
