Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
