the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you traded sex for a burrito?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
