I wanna bring you to show and tell
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
