I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
only if we run a train.
done.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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