It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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