oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
