He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
